Before I get into breaking down this box, I just have to take a second and say the following:
Guys, the last seven days have been insane. Busy doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Last Monday, I had a job interview. I had another on Tuesday. On Wednesday, Jared’s dad came to visit, and we all went to a meeting with the Anti-Defamation League in the city where my husband was presented with an award. Thursday, I had another job interview. Friday and Saturday, I helped a friend work a catering event. Today, I woke up at the crack of dawn to help Jared’s dad get on the right bus that would take him to LaGuardia. I came home and crashed. As in I slept until four this afternoon. I have another interview tomorrow and Tuesday, and two offers on the table right now, both of which are quite good, making my decision about employment difficult to say the least. In all the chaos, this is the first week in the last three months I’ve not felt, at any point, too depressed to function. One week.
One week when I woke up every day and decided that it wouldn’t be a chore to get out of bed and brush my teeth. One week when I didn’t mind taking the elevator to my basement and dropping off my garbage. One week when I did my laundry because it didn’t feel like I was being crushed with the act. I vacuumed the floor. The kitchen and bathroom are clean for the first time in what seems like forever. At some point in the last few days, it hit me that I was beginning to do things, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Because putting dishes in my dishwasher isn’t climbing a mountain even though it has felt like it sometimes. I’ve felt like an actual human and not just a shadow that happens to occupy space.
I don’t often talk about being depressed because, generally, I can function through anything. I can talk to people, and move around and get things done, and smile (or at least fake a smile) through it all, but it’s been hell for me since mid-November. Life got the best of me right after Christmas, and I spent the next month hardly leaving my house and debating if I would ever be capable of working again, not because I was physically unable, but because I barely felt like taking a shower, muchless taking the subway to a real job.
I remember one time an old boyfriend of mine told me that he didn’t believe depression was real. I was sitting on my sofa, crying for no particular reason, and refusing to go watch him coach a baseball game because, well, I didn’t feel like leaving the house. He looked me dead in the eye and said, essentially, that nothing was wrong with me and I needed to suck it up. Needless to say, that didn’t sit well with me. He really should have thought about the fact that his car was at his apartment and he was at my apartment. I got angry and refused to take him to his place, so he could pick his car up and drive to practice. I kicked him out and told him to walk. To this day I don’t know if he actually walked or called a friend when he left my humble abode.
I realize this is ongoing, and it will happen again, so I’ll enjoy this newfound lightness while I can. I don’t feel like I’m walking around with a lead cape wrapped around me, at least for now.
Jared has been awesome through all of this. He’s worked twelve hours, come into an apartment I obviously haven’t cleaned, straightened it up, and cooked dinner (or at least brought me French fries when that was the only thing I would eat), and never complained. He’s seen me pretty bad before, but not for this long.
I’ve not worked out in months. I’ve gained weight. I’ve not worked. But with all the newfound chaos, I feel like I can function again. So, one thing at a time. Apply for jobs. Leave the apartment. Interview. Make a decision about one. Stop subsisting on French fries. Start working again. Start running again. At some point in all the chaos, I’ve figured out how to “human” again, at least for now. Let’s roll with it.
Now, on to the box!
This guy arrived on Wednesday, but there was no way I had time to blog, so I snapped a picture and got back to franticly running around. It’s kind of shaping up to be just an OK box. Last month’s was awesome, and there’s a good chance my reward purchases will go to a number of things from that one. Here’s the breakdown and initial thoughts on February’s box:
Clinique Pep-Start Hydroblur Moisturizer: Seems promising as a moisturizer. So far I’ve not used it under any makeup, but I don’t know how well it will work as a primer. It blurs any pores and redness I happen to have on my face, but it never seems to dry down, so hours after I apply it, I’m left with a slick film on my face. We’ll see how it goes.
Too Faced Lip Injection Glossy in shade Milkshake: I’m going to be honest. I HATE lip plumpers. I already have big lips, so I don’t need them, and most of them burn. I had tried the original Lip Injection years ago and hated it. This stuff burns just as much as the OG one, so I don’t see myself using it ever, really. It kind of sucks because the color is a gorgeous pink-nude shade that I love.
Bite Beauty Multistick in shade Cashew: I LOVE BITE BEAUTY! The best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten was a trip to the Lip Lab downtown where I got to blend three custom colors courtesy of my hubby. I love their lipsticks. I love their lip masks. I love their multi-sticks. I have a couple of them already, but I didn’t have this shade. It’s a lovely neutral shade that can be used on eyes, lips, and cheeks, and it goes well with my skin tone. I’m super pumped about this one.
Sephora Collection Lashcraft Length and Volume Mascara: I’ve been using this for the past few days, and I have to say that the formula is one of the most smear resistant I think I have ever used. It’s really good. I’m still figuring out this brush, though. It’s rounded on the sides and flat in the middle, and I cannot, for the life of me, get a good application.
Origins GinZing Refreshing Eye Cream: I have a pot of this already. It’s good stuff when it comes to depuffing and hiding dark circles. I like to keep it in the fridge to assist in the depuffing, and it’s got tiny little reflective particles to help mask dark circles. I’m happy to get a sample size tube of this so I can take it with me on my travels.
Tom Ford Neroli Portofino: This smells so good. Citrus and lavender and neroli all come together for a sample size that won’t last long around me. Tom Ford makes amazing scents, and this one seems to be no exception.
As a side note, the bag that housed the samples of this month’s box is actually nice. It’s a cute little satin number that I will be hanging onto and using for traveling. Most of the ones I’ve gotten have been super cheap, and I’ve just tossed them, but I wouldn’t mind being seen with this one.
So, that’s the end of this month’s box. This post has turned into a bit of a rambling one. I don’t know if that will happen again, but, hey, it’s my blog. I’ll talk about what I want. I’ll start posting reviews on the products once I finish them or decide to get rid of them (I’m looking at you Lip Injection). In the meantime, goodnight to all.
Total spent on makeup in 2017: $21.78