La Mer The Moisturizing Soft Cream. Don’t do this, Jackie.


Don’t talk badly about La Mer, Jackie.  Don’t talk badly about La Mer, Jackie.  You know the people who like La Mer REALLY like La Mer.  They spend a lot of money to say that they swear by La Mer.  Say something nice.  You can do it.

Better yet, let’s talk about Johnnyswim.  Have you ever heard of that band?  They’re kind of amazing.  The kind of amazing that made me stop what I was doing the first time I heard them come on over the speakers in the coffee shop I had holed up in and just listen.  It was four minutes of pure amazement that voices could be so powerful.  Don’t believe me?  Watch this video: Drunks.  Or this one:  Diamonds.  Just click.  I promise it’s not a virus.  Only a couple of YouTube videos that will transport you for a few minutes.  You’re welcome.

You’re still reading this, aren’t you?  Just waiting for me to go in on La Mer.  Well, I’m not going to.  I mean, I could say that this is one of the most overpriced, piece of garbage moisturizers I’ve ever used.  I could say that it made my face greasy when I applied it.  I could say that it took forever to absorb.  I could say that it did nothing to improve the texture of my skin.  I could say that it didn’t make my skin “glow.”  I could say that it did nothing to help with my acne scars.  I could say it was an average moisturizer at best.  I could say that if you have $170.00 burning a hole in your pocket, you would do better to spend it on the AmorePacific Rejuvenating Creme, and you would save twenty bucks and get 0.7 ounces of product more.  I could say that you would be better off just buying Cetaphil moisturizer, or one of the bombs from Belief if you just insist on going to Sephora.  I could say that the smell of this reminds me of a cross between a funeral home or a perfume that was popular fifty years ago–powdery, vaguely floral, and so POWDERY.  Did I mention it smells powdery?  I could say that someone seriously sensitive to smells could almost go catatonic from just opening the jar.  I could say that scents that powerful have no place in skin care.  I could say a lot of things about this perfectly nondescrept looking jar of cream, but I’m not going to.

Instead I’m going to just talk about Johnnyswim.  Have you still not clicked on the links to the videos up top?  What are you waiting for?  Me to say that La Mer is the most amazing skin care line ever devised?  There you go.  I said it.  Now just watch this video: Tiny Desk Concert.  Go spend your money somewhere else.  May I suggest using it to purchase tickets to see Johnnyswim in concert?


Sephora Play January 2018.


I said that I would talk about this box, and here I am doing it at nearly the end of February.  I keep waiting for the one for this month to appear in my mailbox, and when it finally shipped the other day, it came with a notification that it wouldn’t arrive until February 27.  That’s not a February box, Sephora.  That’s a March box.  Truth be told, with the extremely late delivery date for February’s box and the offerings from the December and January boxes, I’m giving serious consideration to cancelling my subscription again.  I mean, there was an Anastasia lip gloss in the December AND January box, and the colors were extremely similar.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re nice glosses, but lip gloss just isn’t my jam in the first place, and it just seemed like they had a ton of these lying around in a warehouse somewhere that they needed to get rid of.  But anyway, let’s talk about this box.  It’s a pretty weak one IMHO, but, given that I’ve taken forever to report on this box, I’ve actually had time to use most of the things in here.

GlamGlow SuperCleanse Clearing Cream-to-Foam Cleanser:  I think I like this product best of all of the items in this box.  I don’t think I would ever buy it because I find it to be just a bit drying on my normal skin, but I think it would be great for someone with oily skin.  It’s super foamy, which I love, and it does a decent job of removing makeup, though I think you would be better served by something like Philosophy’s Purity Made Simple if you’re in the market for a one-stop-shop cleanser.  I did love that it made my skin feel super clean each and every time that I used it.  It works well when I used it with just my fingers and brilliantly when I used it with my Clarisonic.  The mud in it did want to stain the brush head on the Clarisonic, and I had to give it a hard scrub with soap and water to remove it, but my face felt so clean after I rinsed this stuff off.  The directions said to apply a generous amount, but I think it works better with a less is more approach.  I got a better lather with minimal product.  When I went in hard the first time I tried it out, I ended up with a pile of mud moving around on my hands, so if you spring for a full size, it would probably last awhile.  Alas, this was just a bit too drying for daily use on my face.  My face never felt totally stripped of all moisture, but after four straight days of using this, it started to feel a little bit tight.  Like I said, though, it would probably be a dream on oily skin–just remember to use a makeup remover first if you’ve had a heavy hand in the foundation department that day.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Lip Gloss in Kristen:  This is a nice gloss if you’re into that kind of thing, but it just rubs me the wrong way on so many levels.  Chief among them is that my December box included the color Vintage.  Vintage is has a bit more of pink hue while Kristen is more brown.  They may not be sisters, but they are close cousins.  If Sephora had to send two glosses in two months, they could have varied the shades a bit more.  These are both neutrals.  This is a lazy cop-out on their part.  This isn’t the stickiest gloss I’ve ever used, but I can still feel it on my lips, and the feeling never dissipates until it wears off.  My hair gets stuck in it if I go out on a windy day, and that bothers me.  I have a lot of real estate on my lips, and part of me wonders if glosses bother me so much because my mouth provides a large area for my hair to get stuck in on a windy day.  I also just like my lip products to have more of a payoff most of the time.  If I’m going for natural, I’ll use a balm or something like that.  Otherwise, I’m all in.  I want you to see my lipstick from ten yards away.  This is a neutral, and it just gives a super shiny hint of color on my lips.  So, yeah, as you can tell, I’m not the one to really be talking about glosses.  For me, they’re shiny, sticky, and don’t generally give enough color payoff for me to deal with them.  I can’t honestly tell anyone to buy one gloss over another because I basically hate all of them.

Make Up For Ever Face Color in B302:  This is a nice blush!  The sample is super tiny, and it’s difficult to get a brush in there, but it is really nice once you get it on.  Your best bet is a Beauty Blender Micro.  It’s a peachy color with a bit of shimmer that reminds me a little bit of Orgasm from Nars.  It almost melts onto my skin, and the color is excellent for the pale among us.  I’ve never used MUFE blushes before, but this one has got me considering buying a few when I want a new blush.  It looks so natural and not cakey at all.  I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of this one lately.  I can’t say enough of good things about it.  It’s like brushing velvet across your face.

Boscia Exfoliating Peel Gel:  This product likes to show up in random boxes once every nine to twelve months, and if you’ve followed this blog for any amount of time, you know that I feel a certain way about peel gels.  If you haven’t, you can read about my feelings here or here.  Basically, they trick your mind into thinking they are working because they are full of cellulose that forms balls when you rub it around on your face with your hands.  They don’t really work.  If you want your skin cells to turn over, rub some glycolic or lactic acid across your face for a couple of months.  That will smooth your complexion out.  I threw this away without even opening it.

Clinique Pep-Start Eye Cream:  This is a good eye cream, but it hasn’t caused me to end my neverending quest for the perfect eye cream.  It was moisturizing enough, but not as much as the Rose Gel Eye Cream from Fresh or just good, old coconut oil.  I didn’t notice as much of a brightening effect as when I use the GenZing Eye Cream from Origins.  This one did help a bit with puffiness when I was going on no sleep, though.  Granted, it didn’t completely get rid of the puffiness, but it did help.  I get why some people love this so much, and yeah, it’s good, I just can’t see myself ever buying it.  It’s worth a try, though.

Gloss Moderne Clean Luxury Masque:  I guess Sephora removed the customary fragrance sample in the boxes in favor of a single use, pouch-type situation.  The instructions for this hair mask say to leave it in anywhere from five minutes to overnight.  I am a little weird about walking around the house with drippy hair, so I opted for a time of five minutes while I was in the shower.  It did make my hair softer, but that effect was lost after the third time that I shampooed my hair, which, for me, is three days.  It didn’t help increase shine or manageability, but it was nice to have soft hair for those three days.  I’m hoping my February box will have fragrance samples again.  Even if I don’t like the actual fragrance, I find them to be much more enjoyable and exciting than hair masks.

There’s the rundown on the January box.  As I said at the beginning of this post, it was a pretty lame selection in what has become a series of lame selections.  I may keep getting these for another month or two, but if the next few don’t knock my socks off, I’m probably going to cancel my subscription.